Rap needs a new unspoken rule sandwiched somewhere between “Thou shall stop hashtag-rapping and start writing real punch lines” and “Thou will never, ever ask Chris Brown for a guest verse, that talentless hack.” And it needs to include “Thou shall not feature artists more talented than yourself on an album.”

Featured rappers only show up on tracks for one reason: to make the headliner look better by comparison. While Big Sean tacks suffixes onto “ass” on the track “Mercy,”Kanye West might as well be F. Scott Fitzgerald. But on the flip side, Andre 3000’s verse dexterously rhymes circles around a bumbling Rick Ross on “Sixteen.”

And that’s precisely why hyped hip-hop wordsmith A$AP Rocky stumbles on his debut LP, “Long. Live. A$AP.” With a flood of guest verses ranging from the incredible (here’s to looking at you, Kendrick Lamar) to the inane (Yelawolf, for one), Rocky’s own flows get washed out.

It’s a shame, because the rapper proves he can stand on his own merits instead of hanging onto his peers’ coattails. In the more-than-capable hands of Hit-Boy — the producer of “N***as in Paris”— “Goldie” is an absolute club-banger. Rocky’s baritone delivery is ominous and confident over a thumping, whistling beat.

On tracks like 80s-synth-driven “Fashion Killa” and Kid Cudi-esque “Phoenix,” Rocky doesn’t call in backup, stomping through heavy beats with bravado. Without the 15 or so guest spots on the album, Rocky is a one-man confidence factory.

But on “F**kin’ Problems,” a smooth jam about the problems that come with having too many girls that demand swagger, Rocky’s bluster pales against featured verses from rap’s resident ladies man Drake, critically hyped youngster Kendrick Lamar and 2 Chainz. Rocky struggles to match the trio’s level of poise, and he comes off considerably less smooth than 2 Chainz, whose most romantic song to date is a duet with Nicki Minaj called “I Luv Dem Strippers.” Classy.

Getting upstaged by rappers of Drake and Lamar’s caliber is one thing, but Rocky gets stuck fighting for spotlight time with high-profile producers on the record. Beat writers extraordinaire Hit-Boy, Clams Casino and Danger Mouse give the rapper room to breathe, especially on the lush “Phoenix” and dreamlike, ambient “LVL,” but enlisting Skrillex to wub all over “Wild For The Night” is a head-scratching move.

Skrillex’s woeful production resume — the biggest hit he got his fingerprints on was his sweetheart Ellie Goulding’s contribution to a “Twilight” soundtrack — doesn’t exactly lend the DJ much credibility. And with the cacophony of “Wild For The Night,” it’s not hard to see why. Skrillex’s trademark air raid sirens swallow the rapper whole and beat his rhymes into laser-blast submission.

But the album’s biggest disappointment comes from “1 Train,” which should be the posse track to end all posse tracks. The lineup turns heads: Rocky curates a six-minute track with vocals from upstart rappers Kendrick Lamar, Joey Bada$$, Danny Brown, Action Bronson and Big K.R.I.T. Oh, and Yelawolf. But we don’t talk about him.

After an orchestral swell of strings opens the track, Rocky bursts in with a socially conscious verse that’s as political as it is gut-punchingly emotional. All things considered — lyrics, flow, beat — it’s probably Rocky’s best verse on the album.

Then Kendrick Lamar comes in.

The critically acclaimed rapper behind 2012’s poignant “Good Kid, m.A.A.d City” unleashes a vicious torrent of energy and raw storytelling. Then Joey Bada$$ storms in, sounding equal parts threatening and self-assured. By the time Danny Brown smirks his way through his verse, Action Bronson sizzles during a pop-culture-reference-laden appearance, and K.R.I.T. closes out the track by spitting sheer ire. Rocky’s verse is just an afterthought.

Everyone but Yelawolf, talentless redneck that he is, upstages Rocky on his own track until “1 Train” becomes his “1 Trainwreck.” It’s the same story, different song for most of “Long. Live. A$AP” — from Drake to Schoolboy Q on “PMW (All I Really Need)” — rap a solid verse only to get outshone and out-rapped. If Rocky wants to keep turning heads, he’s going to have to do it alone on his next effort.

It’s OK to get by with a little help from your friends, Rocky, but start picking your less-talented rapper pals next album around.

Published on January 14, 2013 at 11:50 pm

Contact Erik: ervanrhe@syr.edu | @therealvandyman