Same love: Couple celebrates love after being part of first same sex marriage at Hendricks Chapel
Kimberly Isaac knew she wanted to get married at Hendricks Chapel.
As an officer in the Department of Public Safety, Kim would often do nightly inspections in Hendricks. The chapel was a quiet spot where she could reflect or come in from the rain.
When Kim finished her rounds in the early morning of March 1, 2011, she went to wait inside the chapel. It was Bride’s Day, when couples or individuals come in to book the chapel for the upcoming wedding season.
Kim was first in line when the chapel opened at 8 a.m. She wasn’t even engaged yet. She met with Elizabeth Cronk, wedding administrator for the chapel, and booked the first wedding for the next season.
“I probably spent 45 minutes with her,” Cronk said. “Normally, it would take 15 minutes. I was just listening to her stories about how they met and how excited she was. There definitely was a great love there.”
Married on May 27, 2012, Kim and Shannon Isaac are the first same-sex couple to be legally married in Syracuse University’s Hendricks Chapel.
Same-sex marriage became legal in New York on June 24, 2011. Although the chapel performed civil unions in the past, Kim and Shannon’s 2012 ceremony was the first legal ceremony.
The couple is approaching their first wedding anniversary. Both residents of Central New York, Kim, now 47, had been married before and had a daughter from another serious relationship. Shannon, now 25, lived in Watertown.
They met through a chat website.
Kim, who went as “Bard” online, first asked out Shannon, chat name “Desdansmoncouer,” in May 2010. Shannon said no. She didn’t want to drive down to Syracuse for lunch. Kim said she would come to Watertown.
Being unfamiliar with Watertown, Kim suggested she and Shannon go to Red Lobster, one of the few restaurants she knew of.
“The funny thing about that is she hates seafood,” Kim said.
Shannon agreed to go anyway. She ordered the maple-glazed chicken.
Kim admits she was not about to enter a serious relationship when she first met Shannon.
“I didn’t think this was ever going to happen,” Shannon said about now being married to Kim.
Things got serious in June 2010.
Kim was traveling on a motorcycle to a pride parade in Kentucky when she was cut off and hit the back of a van. At first, the paramedics on the scene thought Kim was dead.
A week after the accident, Kim met Shannon’s parents. That Thanksgiving, Kim and her daughter, Abigail, now 9, celebrated with Shannon and her family.
Throughout their relationship, Kim and Shannon said they felt tremendous support from their friends, family and strangers.
Kim proposed to Shannon on March 12, 2011, during a visit to Philadelphia. She wanted to propose in front of the famous “Love” statue, but they got lost. That night, they went to Sisters, a lesbian bar for which Kim used to be a bouncer. The bar staff arranged for Kim to go on stage and propose to Shannon, who accepted.
“It wasn’t exactly what I wanted, but it was still perfect,” Kim said.
Next came the planning.
When Shannon went to pick out her dress, Kim went with her for support. They went to a boutique store first.
After explaining that they were looking for a dress for their wedding, a store staff member looked shocked. They decided to try a David’s Bridal store instead, where they said the staff was incredibly friendly. Kim chose to wear a tux because she felt more comfortable.
Kim and Shannon hoped Thomas Wolfe, former dean of Hendricks and dean of student affairs, could officiate the wedding. Wolfe wanted to perform the ceremony, but was unable to because his Protestant religion does not recognize same-sex marriage.
He gave a reading, instead. During the ceremony, he asked Kim and Shannon to look out at all of the people who gathered there in support. In one of the first pews, Kim saw a row of her fellow DPS officers. Kim’s best man, George Wazen, was also a fellow officer.
“It was a very special day, both for the chapel and that moment in history,” Wolfe said. “They’re two people that completely love each other.”
Neither Kim nor Shannon realized they would be the first legal same-sex marriage in Hendricks. While they were planning the ceremony with pagan Chaplain Mary Hudson, who would officiate, Hudson asked if they were hoping for a civil union or a marriage.
They wanted a marriage.
“Then that’s what we’ll plan for,” Hudson said.
Same-sex marriage became legal just a few months later on Shannon’s birthday.
In the ceremony, Hudson said she tried to incorporate what made the couple special. Kim read a poem she had written for Shannon. The hand-fasting cords, used to bind the couple’s hands together in ceremony, were rainbow as a nod to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.
The couple also included a unity sand ceremony, which traditionally blends two colors of sand to symbolize the union between two people.
But during the ceremony, they mixed three different colors of sand together — including the extra for Abigail, who was the flower girl in the wedding — to symbolize bringing three people together.
Kim and Shannon hope to be role models for others in the LGBT community.
During one DPS call, Kim helped a student who had slit her wrists. The student felt she was misunderstood by her peers because she was gay. Kim asked everyone to leave the room and held the student against her chest and spoke with her until the ambulance arrived.
When it came time to invite people to the wedding, Kim remembered that moment and took an invitation to the LGBT Resource Center. She said anyone who wanted to come to the ceremony was welcome.
“When you are young and you’re gay and you’re in college, sometimes it’s hard and you don’t think you are ever going to find a way out,” Kim said. “We’ve been through those dark times and we’ve come out the other end.”
Published on April 30, 2013 at 1:48 am
Contact Dara: dkmcbrid@syr.edu | @daramcbride