The Crying Jordan meme has become, in the words of broadcaster and part-time minor league umpire Jim Nantz, “a tradition unlike any other.” But like all traditions, there is a story of how it became the behemoth it is right now. Here is the harrowing story of how the meme was born.

Peoria, Illinois. Matt Woods and Amy Wilson are both seniors at Mount Sinai High School. It’s the fall of 2009, and a local community was about to be turned on its Michael Jordan head.

Matt Woods: Amy was about to leave me … I was desperate.

Amy Wilson, Matt’s Girlfriend: I was about to leave him. Matt was very desperate.

Brett Smith, Vice Principal: Matt and Amy were the hit couple of Mount Sinai. If we lost them, we’d lose everything.

Matt: Vice Principal Smith called me in and said that he would let me out of school for a week to save my relationship. I’ll never forget him for that.

Ed Travers, Principal: I fired Mr. Smith about 45 minutes after that conversation.

Matt: I needed a grand gesture, especially since our 3-year anniversary was coming up. Also it was Valentine’s Day and the 6-month anniversary of the day her dog died.

Derek Harris, history teacher: Everyone in school knew that Amy hated Michael Jordan. After all, he did kill her pet rabbit Tim Hare-daway.

Matt: Amy loved two things in this world — Michael Jordan crying and schadenfreude.

Mary Woods, Matt’s mother: Matthew said he needed help with a school project. He said it was extra credit for physical education and that he needed to embarrass a sports hero to make him seem more “human.”

Tony Woods, Matt’s father: As a Bulls fan, I thought what he was doing was obscene. But as a man who once knew what love was, I respected the hell out of him.

Matt: This was my last shot to prove that I wasn’t a complete idiot. I would either be 1996 Michael Jordan, or I would be Owner/ GM Michael Jordan.

So Matt Woods plugged away at a project that he felt was worthy of Amy’s adoration. After two days of endless work and nearly no sleep, he came back with his finished product. The whole school was waiting for him.

Ed Travers: Matt came back after 48 hours of hard labor. I had allowed the hiatus to stay on the Principal’s code. Plus, when Matt showed me what he did, I knew its brilliance would resonate with the world.

Brendan Jorth, Matt’s classmate: There were fliers everywhere and they all had this image that was so familiar, yet so new.

Kyle Pace, Matt’s friend: People knew it was something the moment they saw it. It was like seeing a Picasso for the first time, or the first time you saw boobs on TV.

Matt: It was nothing, really.

Kathleen Barry, Amy’s best friend: It set the standard for asking guys to prom. I’ve hated Amy ever since.

Amy: It was incredible. Matt put Michael Jordan crying at his Hall of Fame speech on a copy of my varsity soccer picture. We had lost the big rivalry game that weekend and the newspaper had gotten a picture of me wincing in pain after the loss. It’s still framed in my room.

Jorth: Matt’s meme changed everything at school. It didn’t matter what someone was doing. A freshman spilled milk? Crying Jordaned. A substitute teacher has a mole? Crying Jordaned. A kid with the last name Jorth? Crying Jordaned.

Amy: I said yes, and how could I not? This wasn’t some boring philosoraptor — Matt had gotten me the perfect gift. Little did we know, it would also be the world’s perfect gift.

The meme stayed within the school district for much of the next half-decade, until the 5-year anniversary when Amy posted the picture to Twitter as a joke.

Derek Harris: We all knew it was going to blow up.

Amy: I was just trying to get likes and retweets. But I guess some good came out of it.

Matt: When Amy posted the picture, I didn’t think much of it — just a reminder of a different period of my life. Then I saw Michael Jordan crying on Tom Brady’s courtroom sketch. And on Dabo Swinney. And on John Boehner. All of a sudden I couldn’t escape it.

Pace: I called Matt and asked him, “Did you see the Crying Jordan on Rihanna’s nipples?” Once I saw that, I knew he really had something.

Ed Travers: They created a monster.

Matt: I just wanted to ask a girl to prom, and now here we are about to put a Crying Jordan on Selena Gomez’s dog. What a country.

Amy: Do we still have our problems? Sure, I think any couple does. But it’s nothing heavy counseling and a few Michael Jordan tears can’t fix.

Danny Cuneo is a senior television radio and film major. All of these characters are fictional and not based on real accounts; unless it’s you then it’s about you. He can be reached at dacuneo@syr.edu.

Published on April 11, 2016 at 8:22 pm