Updated: Nov. 15 at 7:04 p.m.

For long have we debated the perfect adult beverage for pre-Juice Jam consumption. Sure, you could pound a few Silver Bullets, hop the bus to South Campus and call it a day — that is if you like not being drunk during the concert. The fact is to have a properly inebriated Juice Jam you’re going to have to go straight for the hard stuff. But what makes for the perfect pregame potation? Well, the answer to that is multifaceted and geographical in nature.

The Daytime Delight

Juice Jam starts at noon, which means pregames begin when the sun comes up. You’re probably too tired to go out and get any fancy liquors, so your options are limited. Plus, you won’t have the energy for a thoughtout beverage. However, it is when backed into a corner that man is at his most dangerous.

I suggest the following drinking curriculum.  

3oz vodka (the cheaper the better)

To taste: Whatever’s in the vending machine

The South Campus Slammer  

Congratulations. This is the one and only time that living on South Campus will actually be a boon to your social live. All of your freshman year friends who you never see anymore will practically be begging to come over and pregame at your Winding Ridge crib.

A gracious host, you will of course be making some sort of punch to entertain your guests who brought like two beers each. Here’s one that I find gets the party going, requires minimal effort and won’t send you into financial ruin. Like any good punch, you’re going to have to eyeball the measurements and taste as you go.

A bunch of fresh mint leaves

1 handle (1.75 liters) vodka

4 or so liters lemonade

Make sure to give the mint leaves a little slap between your hands before dropping them in the punch. That releases the oils and makes it way better. This is great served very cold on a very hot day.

The Upperclassman (Alternatively, the Dirty Nashville)

Despite your best efforts, you have survived no less than two years on campus. Your reward? A dank pad somewhere off campus. Now among the privileged caste of free upperclassmen, your tastes have been refined by a summer of legal consumption. The highly favorable circumstances of your current existence at Syracuse University must be reflected by highly favorable libations. Revel in the raucous glory of your ultimate or penultimate Juice Jam with a recipe passed down to me by a man I met a few months ago at my summer job. Either build it in a glass over ice or make it in a punchbowl.

2oz bourbon

4oz light beer

6oz lemon-lime soda

The column was edited to reflect the version that was published in print.

Published on September 6, 2017 at 9:59 pm

Contact Mikey: mlight@syr.edu