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Step aside, NY Exotics. Beak and Skiff is breaking into the cannabis industry.

Now that Beak and Skiff announced that it will begin growing cannabis, I’ve obviously got lots of ideas on what it can do with this new expansion as a Whitman major, especially how it can set itself apart from other competitors in the area. As a journalist, I’m left with some questions.

But as a humor columnist, let me give my two cents and a giggle. If I was in charge of Beak and Skiff, here’s five things I’d do now that it’s expanding into the cannabis industry:

1. Free samples in the orchard.
I mean, how else do you get people on board to buy without letting them sample the product first? Grow one plant near the orchard and let the people sample as they choose – kind of like how they’d take free apples while in the orchard. Maybe that’s not a good business strategy, but you’ll gain a loyal customer base of enthusiastic, hungry stoners who will be more than willing to buy a dozen apple cider donuts after they’ve smoked a few bowls in the orchard.

2. Edibles.
A Beak and Skiff donut beats eating a gummy any day. So let’s think about a donut or apple pie a la mode as an edible, or even a 1911 cider infused with cannabis. Baked goods that get you baked? Delicious. The food could even have a higher price point because it actually tastes good. Would I buy a $30 apple pie edible? Maybe.

3. Tasting room for cannabis.
The tasting room and cider flights are delicious … but what if — and hear me out — they gave you a flight with four different joints? One to relax, another three to make you want to systematically pick every apple in a tree. What’s better than rounding out a day of apple picking with some weed? Seems kind of epic. Your local smoke shop can’t offer that experience.

4. Tractor rides.
The tractor that you ride to go pick apples is fun, but what if Beak and Skiff charged customers $10 for a ride once they finished consuming the new product? That’s nothing when you’re high, so I think that would make a lot of money. Wouldn’t you want to ride a tractor after trying Beak and Skiff’s latest product? Wind in your hair, smoke in your lungs — sounds like an afternoon.

5. Smokeout in the Orchard.
Beak and Skiff should charge $4.20 for a smokeout in the Orchard at 4:20 p.m. And just imagine what the smoke sesh on April 20 would be like. Even still, life’s about the little things, so I personally think this should be a daily event. Not often are people excited for a trip into the middle of nowhere, but when there’s weed involved, the possibilities are endless.

Honorable Mention: Have you ever seen an apple pipe in movies and TV shows, and wonder what it’s like to use one? Beak and Skiff should give stoners the chance to try one — it could dominate both the apple and cannabis industries by selling Beak and Skiff-branded apple pipes.

Anyway, it’s pretty cool that our local apple orchard has taken the step to start growing cannabis. Now they’ve got to develop the business and market towards the smokers. Hopefully, I helped get the ball rolling. You’re welcome, Beak and Skiff.

Published on October 3, 2022 at 11:00 pm

Contact Mira: mlberenb@syr.edu