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If there’s one thing I love, it’s the holiday season. And also “Say Yes to the Dress,” but that’s not related. (However, if anyone wants to call me and talk about how ugly Kaylee’s dress was in Season 15, Episode 3…)

Seriously though, this time of year makes me so happy. There are holiday movies, ice skating, arguments with family members during dinner … but most importantly, presents! There’s nothing like getting a freshly wrapped present that just begs you to open it.

However, finals tend to put a damper on all of this holiday cheer. Instead of making gingerbread houses and going skiing (I don’t know, I’m running out of holiday activities), I’m crying over my history review sheet. So, in the spirit of misery, I’m going to be showing you my holiday wish list for finals season.

1. For my professors to not have their final assignments all due on the same day
To any professors reading this, do you have some sort of meeting every semester? You know, one where you decide to make all of your final assignments due on the same Friday at the end of the semester? I mean, come on. You couldn’t maybe get a copy of each other’s syllabus before dumping a heinous amount of assignments on me?

2. Not to slip and fall on my way to class
If you know me (or at least have read my winter in Syracuse column from a few weeks ago), you know I have a constant grievance with the amount of salt on the streets of Syracuse. It doesn’t matter where I’m walking, I’m gonna end up eating it at least once. I’m a clumsy lady who doesn’t mesh well with black ice and slush.

3. For my friends to not leave a full week before me
Every year, my friends get lucky and have their finals a week before me. This means I end up sitting in my apartment alone while all of my friends get to go home to New Jersey or Massachusetts. If you’re one of my friends reading this, you should stay past your finals and keep me company while I study! It’ll be so fun. You can hang out with me while I get snippy over not knowing any of the material for my history class, and afterward, I might even let you buy me a coffee (after all, I’ve been very brave and deserve a reward).

4. For my professors not to ask the most specific questions on their tests
For a lot of the finals I’ve taken, the professors end up just using really niche, specific information from their classes. Stuff like, “What was Herbert Hoover’s grandmother’s dog named?” Okay, maybe not that specific, but that’s what it feels like after I’ve woken up at 8 a.m. and trekked through the snow to take the final. It’s moments like this, looking down at my Herbert Hoover’s dog question, where I think, “I mean … is a degree really necessary?” A la Mariah Carey, all I want for Christmas… is a simple, straightforward final for all of my classes.

5. For the library not to be absolutely packed every day
A busy library is my worst nightmare. I hate having to go from floor to floor, just trying to find a desk to sit at while pretending to study for finals. (My phone is hiding in my book, TikTok ablaze. For anyone wondering, I do laugh loudly at various videos including dogs skateboarding. I mean, come on! That bulldog is not supposed to be doing that!) Not to mention the line to get a bagel is super long during finals. Like, longer than a snake that just survived being stretched in a taffy machine. Excuse my language, I’m currently studying for my metaphor class.

I think we can all agree that the crossover of the holidays and finals may not be ideal. It’s pretty difficult to get in the holiday spirit while also trying to memorize the different parts of the brain. To any of my professors who may be reading this, here is my number one wish: for you to cancel finals. I promise that if you do this, I will bring oh so much holiday cheer to class for the rest of the semester, and I promise I’ll write the best Blackboard discussion posts anyone has ever seen.

Published on November 26, 2023 at 11:19 pm

Contact Sarah: sswells@syr.edu